The good... the bad?!

My little family consists of two people, my daughter and me. I am given the most amazing gift of being the mother to such an amazing kid. I go to sleep everyday knowing how lucky I am to be able to wake up and go to sleep every night near my little girl. Emily is my world. She is every meaning to the word LIFE. She is everything I love. These last few days, well to be honest weeks, I have been really emotional. Maybe it is because I can tell in my daughter's eyes and face when she knows that something is bothering me. Maybe it is because I wish her father would step it up and be the father I know that he can be.

After this last week with the tragic death of Andy Irons and leaving behind his pregnant wife. He has unwillingly left behind his family, the soon-to-be new addition to his family, his unborn son. Andy died before he could/would ever meet his child. Andy will never be able to hug, kiss, cuddle, love, hold, or lay eyes on his child. It seriously breaks my heart knowing that a man that wanted to have a child won't ever see his baby and that his child can never meet his father. Makes me think of all the dads that are out there that would give anything for their child then makes me think of all the dads out there that don't know how to give their child the time of day.

How is it some fathers would give anything and everything for their kid and others don't care even about anyone other than themselves?! How is it some men just naturally do and want to be great and others don't?! I know I am anything but perfect but I know that my child is everything! I know that all her needs come before mine. I know that everything I do is for her. I know that the reason why I go to work and wake up everyday to try to do better is because of her. I know that any money I make she's the one that it goes to first for whatever she needs/wants or that I believe that she deserves. I want to be sure she has everything she has ever wanted in this world. So why is it that some fathers can't feel that same thing automatically for their child?! Why is it some it naturally comes to them the minute they lay eyes on their child and even before that moment, but others have to be taught, made, or never love their child?!

I don't understand it. Maybe I never will. Maybe in this life we aren't meant to know everything maybe it's all supposed to a mystery. Who knows only life will tell...